The Fabulous Life of Severus Snape
by Paranoid Sarcasm
Summary: His tale. Severus Snape and what he went through as a teen being the enemy of the Marauders.


The Fabulous Life of Severus Snape 

Snape picked at his chocolate cake as he sat in the Hogwarts kitchen surrounded by a sea of agitating House-elves in hideous tea cozies or something of the like. Sighing he pushed back his curtain of black hair (Which he knew everyone thought was greasy but in reality, he was just wet most of the time…).

Being a student just didn't cut it for Severus. He wanted more. Most of all, he wanted power. He wanted to show those sodding, wanker, punk marauders that he was better than them. He _was_ better than them, all he needed to do was prove to everyone else that (although they may be Gryffindors) they are far from brave… they teamed up on him like a pride of lions, one could say.

Suddenly he heard the portrait swing open and a bundle of laughter erupted in the humble kitchen of the 'Great Hogwarts; School of Witchcraft and Wizardry'. Severus' heart sped up to an alarming rate as the most popular blokes in school tumbled in to the very same room he just happened to be in.

They decided to grace Snape with their presence. Lucky him.

He immediately took advantage of the house-elves distracting the four and dived out of sight. Or at least he thought he was out of sight.

Somehow they managed to figure out he was there. It was unfathomable. It seemed every time Black or Potter was in a horrendous mood they were able to track him down before their tempers had time to cool off. Snape swore they had a locating spell on him...

"Does anyone else see a shadow of a particularly large nose?" barked Black and moronically laughed at his own joke while Potter joined in.

"Snape, you know you can't hide from us." Said the four-eyed wonder boy himself.

"Look, he thinks he's fooling us hiding behind that cabinet… Snapie, I can see the grease stains from here!" Apparently Black felt it was his civic duty to contribute once more.

Severus took a chance, hoping that if he stepped out now the humiliation would be over with quickly seeing as how they would undoubtedly knock him about no matter how long he hid for.

As soon as he glanced at the troublesome four he felt his blood boil. The disgusting werewolf was there right beside Black while Pettigrew stood obediently by Potter's side like a sad little dog waiting for a master to give him a treat… wouldn't be surprised if Pettigrew started to drool.

He hadn't forgotten the night they all transpired to kill him. Giving him hints as to where to find the deadly brute that wouldn't have had a second thought at eating your ingredients, if you get my meaning. It was obvious it was all on purpose. A blind man could tell Black was putting on an act as they all sat in that dreadful office listening to the blasphemy coming out of that daft boy's mouth the same night Potter got cold feet. Utterly disgraceful. Couldn't believe Dumbledore, the old coot, let the damn attempted murders continue their schooling let alone not marching them down to the next Dementor kissing.

Despicable.

"Looks like you could use a good shower, Snivellus." Black teased as Potter raised his wand, the others not interfering but their amusement clearly stated by their face.

Before Severus could possibly brace himself he was doused in water. Head to toe.

He blinked. And then a blinding raged rippled through him as he charged the clique, wand drawn and eye ablaze. Alas Black, who had been the main target, simply moved to the right and Severus ended up running split between the werewolf and Black and consequently he tripped on one of those wretched elves, causing him to land face first on the unforgiving floor.

The_ stone_ floor.

With an infuriated yell Severus turned to face his tormentors from the ground, his nose bleeding profusely.

"Relex, oh Greasy One. It was a joke. Its only water… give it a rest before you killed your self." Potter rolled his eyes and ruffled his own hair in a way he thought drove people magnetically toward him.

So far Pettigrew was the only one he managed to attract.

"And, just a side note," Black sneered, "Your trunk is bleeding."

With that the werewolf shrugged and followed the two ringleaders out of the kitchens with a giggling Pettigrew hot on their heals.

This is the fabulous life of Severus Snape.

_ AN: This was a bit different and I'm thinking of making a whole series of these, so it would be like one big fanfic. What do you think? Anyway, thank you for reading and I can't wait to see your review_

-peace and love


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